Look, I am definitely a hopeless romantic deep down. HOWEVER, I am on some IDGAF energy lately and I am here for it. I think I found my soul mate, but ya know it can’t ever be simple so whatever. Sometimes we get this idea of what our person would look like and we fantasize that this particular human can fit it… which isn’t really fair because people can’t compare to the idea of what you want them to be in your brain but WE DO IT ANYWAYS. Ugh, tragic really. My last rendezvous was nothing more than fun, which I loved. Something simple, no complications. Honestly, it was just what I needed.
What even is romance? So I was with this guy for a while, ended a few months back…. but yeah I was with him, give or take a few distractions along the way but I was so shocked because I found out he had a whole ass life that didn’t include me. IF I WOULD HAVE JUST STALKED SOCIAL MEDIA I could have eventually figured it out sooner, especially with my detective skills. BUT NO, I wanted to be the “chill” Jadium and not the crazy Jadium. Well, never again. Im stalking you on social to make sure you’re not hiding a life from me. Turns out when you ask someone if they’ve ever been married OR had kids, no isn’t a good enough answer. We need background checks. I haven’t really wanted to talk about it and I’ve been pretty secretive about this mysterious heart break but honestly that's because it hurt so badly. If you’re reading this, you know I'm hurt. ANYWAYS, I think they are working it out now. I wish her the best, for healing. Low key, I wish him the best too, I hope that he can find what makes him happy. At the end of the day, we are all human and must heal.
Will that ruin love for me? No. I definitely like to believe people are good over all. Right now though, I just want to enjoy my summer and have fun. Its kind of refreshing.. if you know me you know Jadium attracts humans. Im a social butterfly and I’ve been told I have “main character energy” which is problematic for someone who has been “boy crazy” since I was like 6…. whatever though, I’m here for a good time, okay!? I recently realized, I don’t think I want kids but I am open to being a step mom. Obviously it can depend on the person, but after making up this fantasy life in my head with the last person I dated… I plan to kind of be more careful.
When I went to Europe, I did live my Taylor Swift fantasy “London boy” and let me tell you, I loved every second of hearing the accent, about rugby, and just learning new terminology. It was seriously such a fun experience to get to know people from different parts of the world. I highly recommend an international cruise.
Anyways, when I got back I realized I am kinda done with pursuing any kind of relationship with anyone. I met with my therapist and psychiatrist and they really opened my eyes that focusing on me is okay and I don’t have to feel guilty because I do not want to pursue anything with anyone at all. That is, until one human crossed my path. But that’s a story for another time. For now, single and fun summer is what its looking like for me. Focusing on Sadie girl, hiking, and lake days with friends is all I need.
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