Sometimes you think you know exactly where your life is heading, but the universe can have something else in mind. You can plan out your entire life and have no idea what's actually going to happen.
You can meet someone, someone who you think you can't possibly live without. When it ends, you keep living. Days go by, then months, it always gets easier and you survive.
You can leave a job for something else, but you know the saying... the grass isn't always greener on the other side. I think this applies to so much more than we realize. Although, I do think it’s worth taking risks. There will always be another job out there, put your happiness first.
I've taken so much time lately to work on myself and to understand that some things are out of my control. I've been doing my best to not worry about what I can't control. Obviously easier said than done, especially for someone diagnosed with anxiety and depression. Im trying to live each day, one day at a time and not let my anxiety over power my emotions. It hasn’t been easy, but it’s helped a lot.
If I'm being honest, life has been kicking my ass. So many ups and downs. The highs are so high but the lows are so low. Is that part of what makes life so beautiful? That’s what people like to tell you when you’re feeling down anyways… These uphill battles can be brutal, like a hike my hiking buddy likes to torture me with. However, when you make it to the top and the view is everything and more, it’s all worth it. I think that goes for getting through your struggles, knowing one day you’ll be so happy and everything that happened will make sense.
I've been journaling everyday, doing yoga, walking Sadie. Between work and personal life, I've been having a hard time. I can finally see a light, I've made it through the tough work times. I know the same will happen for my personal life, I can make it through. I feel like I've been stuck in a grieving phase. For months. Like I said, with ups and downs. I think I’ve been grieving my last job and co workers, lost friends, lost relationships, changes of friendships, etc. Sometimes you feel kind of empty and don’t know how to get through. I’ve met some really beautiful souls here, and I am happy to finally start feeling like life in Oregon is becoming more “normal” for me. I wasn’t sure if it was ever going to get there.
Anyways, blogging is something I love but when I’m down it’s pretty difficult for me to build up the energy to even type out something “worth the read” I guess. Or I feel no one would care. Let’s be honest though, I do this for me. Whether or not someone cares to read it is outside of my control and not really something that should matter to me.
GOOD NEWS. I’ll have a trip to blog about next month as I am in a wedding in Hawaii during NYE weekend. What trouble will I get into? I guess we will find out.
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