Okay, so I made sure I had a few weeks in between jobs to have some “me time” and it has definitely paid off. It feels like the time is dragging on, in a weird way. I think that is because I am so anxious about all of the change. At this point, I am within the 2 week mark of landing in PA. I am scared, like really scared for the first time. I am going to be completely alone. Luckily, I have a supportive family and friends who will make the distance bearable. I may have made a sweet kindle with someone but sometimes life throws you curve balls and you just have to wait for the right timing. We all have our own worries and battles, and that’s okay. I believe the universe always balances out. Lets talk about the positives!
Washington, as most of you know, is my favorite place on earth. Leaving here was not an easy choice when I went to Oregon. Then I met a lot of amazing people and learned so much. Now, I am leaving the PNW for at least 2 years. Today is the first day I have woken up slightly regretting this choice. When you get a career advancement opportunity, you have to at least try. I will always work hard to better myself. Plus Sadie girl is coming along, so that makes EVERYTHING better. Who knows, maybe the love of my life lives in PA? If not, I still love myself and will be A-ok on my own.
Distractions have been the only thing keeping me from tears lately. Ill admit, I have cried more in the last 2 weeks than I have in the entire year of 2023.... so far. I know most people hide everything and make life seem so perfect but I like to keep it real. The truth is... change is not easy, its actually very difficult. Especially when you think you have it all planned out and then one small thing happens and wrecks your plans. You go back to square one. Im sure by the ranting, you can tell I have a million and one things on my mind.
#1 distraction: Friends
When I was still in Oregon, I was busy non stop and it was a good time. I was happy as can be, excited about everything! Devin & Anya made sure my last weeks were perfect. Now that I am in Washington, I have way to much time to think. Which in my case is NOT a positive. *stressfully laughs in pain* Luckily, my soul friend Brietta always comes in clutch with an adventure. If Im busy suffering on long ass hikes, that leaves no time to think or cry.
#2 distraction: HIKING
A few nights ago, we did a sunset hike. Though it was one of the scariest hikes down I’ve ever been on as it was pitch black in the woods and small nature whispers felt like they were surrounding us. It was the best time. It was the happiest I have been in weeks. I forget the effect Mount Rainier has on my soul. Every day that I see it, I wonder why the hell I agreed to move away. I will just admire Rainier and all its glory for the next 11 days I have in WA. I just got a call from Brietta to let me know we are going on a SUNRISE hike. This will actually be my first sunrise hike. Mostly bc waking up at 12-2 am is not appealing to me. I just don’t really have anything to lose or an excuse. So that means I am going, tonight.
I woke up sad today, feeling a million ways. I know that with everything that happens to me, I will always find the positive. This is one of my favorite things about myself. Nothing will keep me from being the ray of sunshine I was born to be. I can’t wait to do this hike, watch the beauty of the PNW waking up, and just freeing my mind.
A little depressed today, but it can only go up from here! Until my next update, BYEEEEE :)
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