There are so many things I have come to terms with lately. Sometimes I forget that I really am out here on a non stop adventure. My trip to Kansas City last weekend really made me appreciate the risks I am willing to make to challenge myself and branch out. I had a talk with my cousin which helped me so much, sometimes I feel like something is wrong with me for not wanting the same things other people want. He comforted me and said there is nothing wrong with how I am and its okay that I am away from family and friends because I am choosing me and making sure I live my life to the fullest. That talk eased my heart.
I will admit there is something satisfying about people asking “how do you travel so much” or “I can’t believe you move around so much” and my personal favorite “I am so happy for you, living your best life.” I underestimate myself a lot, to me this all feels normal. Maybe being a military child has given me a will to explore, or a lack of being able to set roots. Personally, I like to believe it’s my desire for adventure and experience and not to dwell on the fact that there may be some underlying issues of commitment and settling down. Am I delulu? Probably.
What people don’t know.... I question my choices for weeks after I make them. I have to say, this is the most unpredictable and outlandish decision I have ever made. I still can’t believe I moved across the country alone… knowing zero humans… on a whim. Did I regret it for weeks? Yes. Lucky for me, I have never met a stranger. From soccer game friends, to work friends becoming weekend friends, to an old friend of mine moving here because I suggested it (plus she moves around a lot also). It’s all coming together. Every single time I have been sad, I reminded myself that when I moved to Oregon, I regretted it for months. Then I met Devin and a piece of me I never knew was missing, was suddenly complete. That thought alone has kept me going for weeks. Its kind of crazy, knowing I wouldn’t have ever known these people if I had done one thing differently. If I let my fear get in the way, I wouldn’t know a lot of people who make my life better on a weekly/daily basis.
Highlights so far: 2 Colts games in person, met insane Philly fans whom I adore, saw Messi play in real life, went to Hershey park, found a cute winery, went to the pumpkin patch, and finally put myself back out there to date again. I may have unknowingly moved here to escape a pain that lingered around me in Oregon but I have learned so much in 2 months. Ill admit I almost threw the towel in and moved back home, called mom crying several times, and put life on do not distrurb but I pulled it together. I just know I have so much more to experience here. The cards wouldnt have fallen this way if they werent suppose to and I believe that to my core.
My upcoming adventures are a halloween bar crawl in Lancaster and then either West Virginia (maybe) or Pittsburgh. Who really knows? Im Insane, allegedly.
SIDE NOTE: for those saying I’m impulsive, spontaneous, courageous, insane, etc… You’re probably right but I hope you follow along. We are all here for this crazy ride called life. So live it up. Do what scares you. Never settle. Find your happiness.
Until my next burst of motivation, byeeeee
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