This is the scariest thing I've ever done. Read it or don't. Like it or don't. Please be kind, these are my deepest and most vulnerable thoughts, attempting poetry as an outlet for the first time. Started last summer, it's helped me a lot mentally. Enjoy. 🫶
*Cloudy with a chance of depression*
It weighs me down
Unable to get back up
Most days feel dark
With a little gray cloud
It rains on my happy
But I can’t let it win
I get an umbrella
I try to pretend
It hurts so bad
Why must it stay?
Therapy
Psychiatrists
It doesn’t go away
I try and I try to be glass half full
It comes knocking again
Takes me down to the floor
I cry almost daily
It hits me when I shine
The guilt takes me so deep
Feels like I’m drowning
Coping will come, atleast that’s what I’m told
I make jokes about not aging
I don’t want to grow old
Living with this pain, feels scarier than death
I hope it goes away before I take my last breath
*Idea of me*
“Youre the girl of my dreams”
But not the girl of your reality
Dig a little deeper
Damage starts coming through
Anxiously attaching myself
To a lover I think seems different
“this will be the one”
It isn’t
The idea of me, is better than I could ever be
I try and I try
But it’s never enough
I either love too little or I love too much
It’s too fast
It’s too slow
I can’t take it back
So I go
I leave and I heal
someone else comes along
Shattered pieces, picked up
You don’t stop until it’s better
Never perfect, but close
Please stay forever
All the ones who left me broken
They are long gone now
you never gave up
You gave me back my crown
This next one is my oldest one, but idk. Felt like I should include
*The void of you*
Seconds turn to minutes
Minutes turn to hours
All of a sudden, it’s 3 months later
I search for something, anything
The dying urge to fill the emptiness
Each distraction gives me a temporary release
I think “today is the day I move on”
Im hopeful, the day progresses
It gets easier
Suddenly, you creep in
Once again Im consumed
He’s next to me, but he isn’t you
My heart aches
Each attempted relationship ends
Just once, can I feel the pain from another man?
But no, I flash back to you in an instance
I don’t understand
Why can’t I mourn what we could’ve been?
My distraction is gone
I’ll be okay, right?
I fake a smile
Time stops while I’m in pain
Yet the next moments come and go
The world keeps spinning
I feel stuck, trapped
No, I have to keep going
Maybe this will be the day
Today, I won’t think about you
Time heals all, they say
Months have passed and it’s still there
The void of you
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